Sunday, April 19, 2020

#18

Like the malay saying goes; jangan sebab mulut, badan binasa. 

I believe i've just singlehandedly ruined a good thing. I let my ego self say things that i never truly mean, do things that ended up hurting him, me and even our relationship. 

It should be me who feel miserable instead of him. It's my fault that I did what i did last night; given that during this current covid situation, it's hard to find time to even meet up. This has always been my problem, I am never good with my words and i never could control my own emotions. My actions and my words hardly sync when i am in mess.

It feels so empty. That i mute all my notifications knowing that none of it would be from him. I don't even feel like browsing my social med. I don't even dare tweeting in my main account or posting any IG story. Oh my god, i hate this feeling, i just wanna break down and cry.

Honestly, i am so lost right now. I don't know what do i do from here to make things better. What if i end up lost this good thing that i have right now ?

I am genuinely sorry and i hate that this had to happen. please forgive me..

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#19

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